Why we are adopting, part I

First, let me share why we are not adopting. We are not adopting to rescue a child; we are not adopting to fulfill a missionary vision; we are not adopting so we can "finally" have a girl. We are adopting because God has revealed to us by His grace that we have a daughter, and she is in China. 

I admit that I have had adoption in my heart a lot longer than has Eric; we had even talked about it many times over the years. I was convinced from the time Eli was a baby, but the Lord had not yet made it so clear to Eric. There were financial roadblocks aplenty, the boys were all getting big enough so that the physical parenting was not so taxing. We were at a good place in our lives. But at times, for me, the desire to have this child was almost more than I could stand. But I was really powerless to change anything. So I prayed. I prayed for God to take away my desire if it was not to be. I prayed for him to reveal His will to Eric. The only response I ever heard was, "Just wait. Let Me handle it. Don't give up." 

So many times I almost did give up; I would almost convince myself that I must be making up these feelings, that it wasn't from God, but just me wanting it to be. Every time I would get to the end of my rope, though, God was there, telling me calmly and gently, "Tie a knot and hang on."

Then, seemingly out of the blue, in April 2007, Eric asked the boys one night, "What would you guys think if we adopted a child?"  The boys were enthusiastic, and I was almost speechless. "Where did that come from?" I asked. "I don't know. Just something I've been thinking about lately," he answered. 

Two weeks later, we sat in an adoption seminar, getting a glimpse of our new world.